Shiny new hair style

Five Hundred Pound Peep: Gaslighting

Five Hundred Pound Peep: Gaslighting: source This is a great cartoon to describe gaslighting. I was thinking of the PERCEIVE quote from the other day, that was direct gas...



This is a great post from the Peep and I suffer terribly from this as my confidence is so damn low I doubt myself at every turn x

Grey kitty-loaf

The muffinest muffins that ever muffined!

Fallout 4 - Official Trailer (PEGI)

This looks amazing x

New computer room selfie

Selfie and notes

Bank holiday selfie.

I am finding I have very little patience with things today; I've shouted at the cat and refused a phone call from my dad because I just find him so difficult to talk to sometimes.  This is a symptom of depression I know and I ought to fight it but it's easier to immerse myself in World of Warcraft and ignore the world.

After

Taken in bathroom as bedroom light beginning to wane. Well it's certainly darker and the colour is even. Not as vivid a violet as the liquid colour suggested.

Yeah I'm pretty disastrous at dying my own hair but I can't afford salons so sue me.

Before esalon

 

This is my hair before, I have dyed it previously and you can probably see my roots growing through. 

Face

So many people have told me that I just don't look myself lately, from my husband to my GP to my colleagues at work, they say I'm just not myself.  I can't tell.

Visitor update

This cat has been appearing in our back yard for the last week or so, we're not sure whether it is a stray, it looks pretty well fed.  It's not aggressive although Shadow and Kira don't particularly like it:

Shadow monitoring the situation

Kira, on suspecting the stranger is there, will dive onto the windowsill, scattering our boxed figures and modem and sit there swishing her tail at it. 

We'll see what happens.

Visitor

Who is this cat?

Sudden

I have a sudden urge to go thrifting, but it is half past ten in the evening and such things are just not feasible at that time.

Living

Do you want to see a bit of my living room?  Because I can totally show you a piece of my living room...

Things What I 'Ave Bought!

I'm not a beauty guru, I have no interest in becoming one, I just like to show people what I've bought and it was something to do while I'm off sick.

So, I had an email coupon for Make Up Geek and I decided to buy 4 NYX lippies, specifically from the Wicked collection (actually I have 5 because it seems I added one to my basket twice by mistake like an idiot!).

I bought Trickery, Wrath, Cold Shoulder and Betrayal because they were the colours most appealing to me and ones I thought I would actually wear (I would have bought Risque, the greeny one, but where would I wear it???)

I mean Wrath I could get away with wearing for work and Trickery is ideal for Steampunk at The Asylum this year.

To show you what they actually look like, on a proper real person, with normal household lighting and a less than mega-expensive camera, here are some pictures (apologies for my stupid face; some days I really hate my face, seriously there are some days I think I look like Eric Stoltz in Mask):

Betrayal

Cold Shoulder

Trickery (love this)

Wrath

There is no other make-up on my face and I haven't used any lip primers or lip liner and I applied them straight out the tube (no fancy brushes).  Beware - Betrayal leaves a slight bright pink stain on you but otherwise they come off really easy with a make-up wipe.  Cold Shoulder is pretty sheer and you have to build up the colour.

Verdict - money well spent!

Life update

So... a lot has happened in the last 4 years.

Following on from my last post, I spent 16 months in total unemployed.  At the time of that post I wasn't doing too badly as we still had my fiance's (ooo more on him later) wage and I was receiving Job Seeker's Allowance (JSA).  The bad news is there are two types of JSA, one you receive if you have never worked and have no other income (a standard amount I believe based on your needs i.e. kids, etc) and one based on National Insurance contributions from previous work (for non-UK residents, here everyone who works has National Insurance and tax deducted along with any pension schemes, student loans, etc).  So, having worked previously I was collecting the latter; the bad part of this is you may only claim for a certain amount of time, in my case 6 months and because my fiance's wage was (and still is) above a certain threshold, I was not entitled to claim anything after my own contributions ran out because, according to the government, anything above said threshold is plenty to live on.  The result of this is that we lost a great deal of money from our savings account to stay afloat, pay our rent, etc.  My fiance and I had a pretty decent amount saved which was enough for a deposit on a house; as a result of my losing my job (and I admit probably some poor financial management) we lost this and had to start again.  

Anyway, so, for 16 months I was unemployed, over that period of time I think I applied for around 200 jobs and received 13 invitations to interview, none of which were successful.  Eventually, after some time had passed I decided to try and get work at the hospital again via an agency.  I applied for one agency which signed me up but basically told me I would never be placed in the hospital I worked at again because, due to the way my last job ended, it would not be very professional of them.  I received no other job offers from them.  I then signed with another agency who could not offer me any work at the hospital I had previously worked at (and been fired from); however they did have an office in the next city who could offer me work at the hospital there.  This they did.  It meant a 2 hour bus ride every morning and evening but I cared not because it was work dammit!

So I worked at that hospital for the next 3 years; I worked for a couple of months in Rheumatology department before being offered a temporary post in Gastroenterology.  When this post because permanent and was advertised, I applied and got the job!  So yay!  No more agency pay.  Thankfully, despite the gap in my work history, they agreed to honour my pay level (when you work for the NHS pay is split into bands 2 - 8 depending on your job role; within each band is around 15 levels or 'increments' and in my 4 years previous at my local hospital I had worked my way up my band and they honoured this because I am working for the same company essentially) so we could start to save again.

I worked in Gastroenterology for 3 years and it was awfulness including bullying and generally being knackered from the commute; don't get me wrong I met some lovely people and even joined the hospital choir, which was wonderful, but it was getting me further and further down every day by the end.  So, I reckoned that now some time had passed and I had gained further experience and proved my reliability again, I could apply for jobs at my local hospital again.  And I was successful!  I got a job in Pathology which I started in November 2014, and I'm still there and loving it, mainly because it's only 10 minutes away from my home! 

Phew!  Rollercoaster.

Second, in October 2013 (Halloween to be exact) I got married to the man I have been with now for a total of 9 and a half years!  It was wonderful, 3 years in the saving and on a budget but we really made it our own and the most wonderful thing is that my Gramps got to attend and this was 6 months' before he passed away.  My cousins from Scotland also attended and it was just amazing.

Third, with a little help from my mum and dad and Glenn's mum, we managed to scrape together a 10% deposit for a house of our own in May 2014.  We now own a little semi-detached not far from where we were renting beforehand.  There is a bus stop right outside which is great for both of us.

Last but not least, my dear old dad got remarried to a lovely, lovely lady from Essex who lived in the flat opposite.  I've never seen him happier and that makes me happy.

Oh crap no!  That's not the last thing.  I had weight loss surgery (specially a vertical sleeve gastrectomy) in February 2014.  At my heaviest weight I was 20st (or 287lbs for my non-UK readers) and a size 26-28 in clothes.  I am now 14 months post op and weigh 12st (171lbs) and am feeling great.  I won't say it's the be-all and end-all, it has been difficult and I do have some loose skin but I feel it was the right decision for me.  I do not regret it one bit. 

I can't think of anything else.  I still suffer from anxiety and depression; my confidence is still affected by this and I have days at work when I feel absolutely worthless and useless, but then I have days when I feel wonderful and an essential part of the team.  Thus is the nature of the beast.  I really need to be a lot more compliant with my medication, for my own well-being.  I still have an underactive thyroid, like the above it is something that will never go away and again, I need to be more compliant.  

I have joined this hospital's choir and am having singing lessons to boost my self-esteem and just because I love to sing.  I am working on a pretty big cross-stitch project and I hope to post to this blog with updates on it.

Sal